wedding planning as coping mechanism

So my wedding is almost here (8 days!) and I’ve been throwing myself into all the little details of the whole event, not just because I’m neurotic to the point that it makes me seem organized, but because it’s helping me escape the crap that goes along with it.

My bachelorette party was kind of a flop. Nine girls said they would celebrate with me, one was too sick to show, and never bothered to tell us, another was too ill to continue after dinner, (she had strep, I get it, go home and rest!) another had to work the next day because her command is going through hell right now, and another left early because her son’s birthday/college acceptance party was the next day. These are all understandable things, I know. However, when combined with the fact that three other girls left in the middle of it to go do something with someone else, then came back and said they had to leave, leaving three of us alone, sober, and calling for a ride home before the night could possibly get any worse… I got my feelings seriously hurt.

It’s also apparently my fault that they left because the girl throwing it said she was getting anxious because I didn’t appear to be having a good time. Uh, I was bummed that people kept leaving! Just because they had totally valid reasons for leaving doesn’t mean that it doesn’t suck that they had to go! How is this my fault?? Apparently I’m “hard to please” and “not easy to be friends with.” Fine. If that’s how you see me, then why bother? If I’m so high-maintenance and such a chore to be friends with, maybe we should just let the whole thing go!

Then, I call my future mother-in-law to get photos for a memorial we’re doing, and she tells me that I have to respond to a confirmation email from her husband (my Romeo’s step-father) from a computer, because if he sends them to my phone, the large files will break it. What?? So I try to explain to both of them that web-hosted email is the same whether it’s my phone or my desktop, and the guy says they will not be sending the photos, and FMIL tells Romeo that I called her ignorant. Seriously??

Then, I ask one of my bridesmaids if I can store my dress at her place until the wedding, tell her I’m picking it up today, and she says “cool.” Then she says she can’t come to the fitting because she has plans. Um. How am I supposed to get the dress into your house, then?? Luckily, another friend has said she wants to go, and will store it for me at her place.

Not to mention that of the 110 people I invited, only 50 are coming, and over half of the people who aren’t didn’t even bother to reply. Some of those who did were two weeks past the RSVP date. That’s ridiculous. That is so rude.

So I’m throwing myself into seating charts, escort cards, timelines, and sign-making to get my mind off of it. Most of the time it works, but sometimes, like right now, I sit and think: “what did I do to deserve this?” “Do I actually deserve this?” “Am I being too sensitive, or demanding?” I have no answers for these, I really don’t. I just know that it sucks, and I really, really hope that I won’t feel this way next Saturday. I don’t want to cry my makeup off…

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