getting serious about health and fitness

I think there comes a point in some people’s lives where they have an epiphany about their lifestyle and realize that it would be a really good idea to make some changes.

This happened to me two days ago.

I’ve been power walking quite a bit, not eating junk (much), and trying to lose weight for my engagement photo shoot, which will be some time in the fall. But I wasn’t losing. Not a bit. I felt better, sometimes I even thought I looked better, but my clothes weren’t getting looser and the number on the scale wasn’t dropping. That’s when I realized that I wasn’t committing enough, and that I needed to get drastic.

I love carbs.

I could eat a bagel for breakfast, a sandwich for lunch, pasta for dinner, and pastry for dessert. I totally have, too, and it only got worse after I became a pescatarian. I realized that all these processed carbohydrates are just dragging me down, I don’t need them, they’re my comfort food, but I won’t feel the need to comfort myself as much if I was an appropriate weight for my height.

I’m always going to be curvy, it’s just how I’m built, but I don’t want to be the fat girl anymore. I don’t want to be embarrassed when I have to lift my shirt in physical therapy, or constantly have to unroll my panties because they roll down under my “booty do” (it means you have a tummy, as in “her stomach sticks out more than her booty do!”). I’ve accepted the fact that unless I want to go back to bootcamp or join VBSS, and stay there forever, I’m not going to be a size 8. But I could be a size 12, and if I can really get into an active lifestyle, like joining an adult sports team, I might hit a 10.

I just know that I don’t want to do that photo shoot a size 18. I don’t want to have to buy a special wedding dress, or not be able to try any of them on because they won’t go over my thighs. I don’t want flabby arms, or more than one chin, or to have to wear Spanx shorts to keep my thighs from chafing. I don’t want any of that.

So the carbs are gone, I took my friend Iris‘ advice and typed a lists of foods I could eat and put it on the fridge so that when I get hungry, I can just choose something on the list instead of rooting around and most likely coming up with something unhealthy and/or starchy. I’ve actually been doing really well, it’s basically a whole foods diet, which I’ve been wanting to try since I read 100 Days of Real Food, and I have to say, it’s working out pretty well. I think it’s mostly because I’ve been so wrapped up in doing homework that half the time I forget to eat, and when I do eat I’m usually starving, so I really don’t care what it is I’m eating. I had a Subway tuna salad plate last night while I was in class, and it was so good I almost cried. Of course, all I had eaten the rest of the day was a hard-boiled egg and a cup of Greek yogurt, but it was still super good.

I know, I know, tuna’s not exactly healthy when it’s all mixed with mayonnaise, but I’m honestly okay with it. If all I’m eating is fruits, vegetables, and (non-meat) protein, I’m going to eat my damn tuna salad if I want.

I want to try to get my body into ketosis, and combine that with circuit training in order to burn fat, but keep my metabolism up. I started circuit training yesterday, I did 5 minutes of moderate pace/moderate intensity on the stationary bike, and then I did 30 seconds each of squats, forward lunges, overhead presses (5 lbs), push-ups, elevated crunches, and calf-raises. Then I get a 30 second rest, and if I can, I start again on the bike.

I only got through one circuit yesterday.

Today, I did one and another 2 1/2 minutes of biking before I quit.

I know, it’s not much, “you quit after 10 minutes of working out??” But you have to remember that I’ve been pretty stationary for a long time. My back and my knees just couldn’t take it. But now, I’m finding I don’t need my cane as much, I’m rebuilding my stamina, and – best of all – I can actually do squats and lunges. I haven’t been able to do those in three or four years, my knees were just too brittle. They’re still not great, but they’re getting better, and a little bit of progress is better than none at all.

I may not look thinner yet, but I feel thinner, and I think that’s still an accomplishment. I’ll let you know how it’s going in a week or so, hopefully I’ll have entered ketosis and started losing weight by then.


city lights and starry nights…

Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh! It’s less than 13 months till my love and I tie the knot! The time has come to actually start nailing down ideas and get a clear picture of what we want to do.

After all that hoopla about trying to have a color scheme that matches the venue, I have decided that its worth more to me to have my boy happy, and to do the wedding in shades of deep blue (he doesn’t do that pastel crap). I’m keeping my über-romantic red roses, however…

Now that we have a color, I still kind of wanted a theme to match, and I’ve started thinking that dark, deep blues always remind me of the ocean on deployment. That shade of cerulean that only those that have been hundreds of miles from land know, and the inky blue-black of the sky on a clear night with no moon; guys, you wouldn’t believe how many stars there really are.


But I’ve also always had a love affair of artificial lights, city lights, to be specific. My mother told me of the first time we went into the city at night, and I said it was Christmas and could not be told otherwise. I still love the city lights, it’s one of the reasons I love San Diego so much. When I was stationed at the ASW base in Point Loma (now called NMAWC) I would sit out on the breakwater and watch Downtown light up the night. The planes fly into San Diego International Airport once every 90 seconds, and they come in right over the city. It’s a beautiful sight. I could watch the city lights for hours – and have!


My love doesn’t get it.

I mean, he gets that I love the lights, but I think he finds it childish and didn’t seem particularly into it when I brought him to the breakwater where I used to sit. He’s more into the stars, he says he misses that about Texas, the fact that his parents’ house is removed from the city enough that you can see almost all the stars. He loved to stand on the 03 level and look at the stars on a clear night, or even marvel at how bright a full moon really is when there are no other lights to dwarf it. On clear nights, with a full moon, you could see everything, no problem. You could see people’s faces clearly, and you would never trip over a knife-edge or a butt-can. That’s how bright the moon really is.


It was these things, the moon, the stars, the lights of cities in the distance as we glided by on glassy waters, that made deployment bearable. The deep, bright blue of the ocean, the flying fish, the dolphins and whales, the warm humidity of the air when we got near Thailand. The ship would be charged with excitement, Thailand was our favorite port, just about everyone agreed. The lights of the city, Bangla Road, it was all alive and going, going, going until morning. Then there were the beaches, crowded by day, usually quieter at night, but the sunsets and the light from the moon made it almost seem like it wasn’t real.


Thailand isn’t perfect, we got offered drugs many times, and were a little scared when we made a wrong turn down a dark road with dozens of beggars (and they aren’t shy about grabbing on you to beg), but it was where he and I decided that maybe we should give it a shot. I don’t think either of us thought it would get this far, we were 23 and 22, we had all the time in the world to find “The One,” but we turned out to be just what the other needed. Or at least, he’s just what I needed, and for some reason he sticks around, though I have no idea why.


That’s why I want to do a starry night, city lights theme for this wedding, it’s why we’re hoping and praying that we can get back to Thailand for our honeymoon for a couple of weeks, even if it’s the last time we get to be there together. I just have to figure out exactly how I’m supposed to pull this off…