why I hate california drivers

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So, after six years of living in various places around San Diego (Point Loma, Spring Valley, National City, Mission Valley, and now Encanto), I have determined that no one knows how to drive! the following is a list (in progress) of stupid things I see California drivers doing on the road. Feel free to add your own anecdotes in the Comments section…

1. Merging/turning without signaling. Seriously. Are you people aware that all cars now come standard with blinkers??

2. Not turning on lights in the rain. Hey. Asshole in the grey car in front of me. You’re lucky I didn’t run you over last weekend in that rainstorm.

3. Slowing down to rubberneck at accidents. They happen all the time, and are caused by people like you that don’t pay the fuck attention. Eyes on the road.

4. Taking up extra parking. Whether its parking over the line in a lot or not pulling all the way forward/back on the street, I fucking hate you people for taking up more space than your faggy little compact needs to.

5. Going berserk when it rains. Yes, when it first starts to rain, you need to slow down because of the accumulation of oils on the road, but must you go three miles an hour in the fast lane of the highway?? And likewise, why do you think it’s a good idea to go 90 when it’s pouring? Hydro planing is real. And it’s why your ass is embedded in a guard rail and you are now facing the wrong way on the 15…

6. Not having a goddamn clue where you’re going. Dude, stop going from the left turn lane to the right (and vice-versa) and then getting stuck diagonally across traffic and being in my way. I drive a Jeep with two already-fucked-up bumpers, I will drive into your ass to get through.

7. Not turning on your lights at night. I know there’s streetlights and shit everywhere, I know you can see, but we can’t see you, headlights and tail lights are not only for your own convenience, you dig?

8. Cutting across five lanes of traffic because you’re about to miss your exit. Take the next one, wtf is wrong with you?

9. Blasting gangster music in residential areas. No one wants to hear your shitty music. Turn it down before I dig up my “Spice World” album and battle your weak ass system.

10. Leaving 20 feet of space between you and the guy in front of you at a stop light. I could fit three of my Wrang in there, move it up.

11. People that park up your ass at stoplights. I drive stick. I will purposefully roll into you, fucker, and it’ll be your fault.

12. People that think their tiny sedan is a pickup. Get the shit. Off of your roof. And out of your trunk, where it doesn’t fit. And call a friend or rent a truck. Stop being so goddamn ghetto.

13. People who are on their cellphones/listening to headphones while driving. Are you kidding me?? It’s illegal because it’s not safe! I hope a tractor-trailer flattens you dumb fucks because it’s breaks are out and you can’t hear it cuz you’ve got all this shit in your ears. Listen to the radio or a CD like a normal person.

14. People that put their dogs in the back of their truck beds. I want to kill you motherfuckers. Seriously. I’ll take the damn dog if you don’t want it, stop treating the poor animal like freight.

15. People that key my car. Fuck you.

16. People that steal my shit when my top’s down. Fuck you too.

17. City Bus drivers. Do I really need to elaborate?

18. People that stop on railroad tracks. I hope you die, it would be really entertaining.

19. When the traffic light at an intersection is not working (blinking) or completely out, you still have to stop! Treat it like a four-way, and rotate around, don’t just go flying through and almost t-bone me!

20. People that run stoplights, that seems to be pandemic around here, and it’s driving me insane!

21. When everyone at an intersection is trying to go the same way, and traffic totally gets backed up, and the second the light turns yellow, it clears out.

That’s all I’ve got so far, any additions?

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7 thoughts on “why I hate california drivers

  1. Flann says:

    People who drive 5 feet behind me…or less. I do slam on my brakes now and then. If you hit me, I would like a new car please and thank you.

  2. JennaRay says:

    Guys who drive pick up trucks LOADED down with mattresses or couches or washing machines, going to the border… wut da fuq?!

  3. hosch says:

    Was in California for 2 weeks, San Diego and LA. I thought I was in a different country or tripping out, I’ve never seen people unanimously drive that fing terrible in my entire life, living near DC you see a lot of foreigners, diff. nationalities, lot of different types of driving, I have never seen anything in this area in my life like I saw in one day in California. Now that I’m in Vegas everytime I see someone cause a near accident it’s a California license plate, every time I see someone tailgating it’s a CA license plate, everytime I see someone inexplicably staring at the Strip with a green light holding up a line of traffic it’s California. Seriously what the hell goes on in that state, California I thought was going to be nice it was like a desert filled with the most inexplicable dangerous worse driving I have ever experinced.

    But most of all, I can not explain to you how California’s will literally drive straight into your lane and your car at anytime on the road, doesn’t matter if they are staring at you and you are staring back at them their car will drift straight into yours. I thought I was missing a law or something the amount of people that have one tire in one lane and another in their lane. Most ridiculous sht I have ever seen in my life.

  4. Chris says:

    I moved from east coast to California recently.
    I hated both the california roads and drivers.
    I encounter 2-5 *** holes every day.

  5. Fedup says:

    Yep. I experience these things every time I venture out of my home! Even just driving to the market and back.

    Just now, an old person was merging onto the freeway at about 45 mph, with a bunch of cars behind him. A utility truck was in the emergency lane on the right shoulder, up ahead. The people on the freeway (far right lane), kept driving at their same speed, about 55-65, with limited openings, leaving it impossible to merge. We could have had a 5-car pile up because these dorks weren’t willing to slow down or move to the left lane till things cleared up. URGH.

    And some moron, at every red light, was pulling up close enough to kiss my bumper. People don’t think. I leave room, so if someone rear ends me, I don’t end up rear ending the person in front of me. The same on the highway.

    Some thrill seekers (or are they on speed?), like to drive at 50 to 80 mph, leaving 1-2 car lengths in between. Seriously, they must have a death wish. They won’t be laughing when they end up killing or maiming someone…or themselves.

    And we now have thousands of illegals driving here, who drive 50 in the 3rd lane…who make lane changes extremely quick, not looking for motorcycles or other cars, and who cut off people, moving over 3-4 lanes, to catch their exit. I have never seen so many banged up cars. I’m sure some illegals drive safe, but in the 3rd lane, driving 50(?).

    And where are the CHP? No where. They could pay off our national debt if they’d give us more CHP to patrol our highways. I’ve called our Gov reps year after year, but they do nothing. They’re more focused on raising our taxes and robbing our liberties and pushing bathroom laws (which would put girls and women at risk to rape) down our throats.

    And what does our local Gov do? They keep taking bribes from developers (my theory) to build more buildings and apts beyond our cities’ infrastructure.

    Let’s say “ENOUGH!” and vote out all the career politicians in November. 8 years MAX!

    • illnevertell says:

      Um, let’s not be xenophobic about immigrants by claiming illegals are the problem with California roads.

      California is a melting pot, so people bring their sh*t driving habits from all over the place. It’s not because they’re illegal, don’t be a bigot.

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