why raising college tuition isn’t a bad thing

I bet you’re mad I said that 🙂

It’s true though, and don’t worry, I’ll explain every bit of my logic, so bear with me…

Go to Bing (or Google, or Yahoo…) and search the news for “college tuition” and you will be greeted by a score of articles about rising costs and student rallies against the rising costs of going to college. It sucks. I wish I had gone to college when I was straight out of high school instead of waiting until now, it would have been cheaper.

Why is the cost of education higher than the amount of coke in Whitney’s bloodstream during the autopsy? The Government, of course!

Don’t get squirrely and start calling me a conspiracy theorist – I hate those; and don’t go lumping me in with all the stupid people who blame Uncle Sam for everything – I’m not one of those either.

What I am is a student of common sense, and I try to apply it even when the conclusion doesn’t work in my favor (like right now, I’m a college student, and I don’t have a problem with the cost, for two reasons, but I’ll tell you those later). The government is fucking up college the same way they fucked up the housing market, except right now it’s having the opposite effect.

Not long ago, the government decided that the “American Dream” of owning a home should be a right, not a privilege. So they began allowing massive amounts of home loans in excess of any other such debt that American citizens would normally be able to incur. Banks jumped on this opportunity, and thus the “variable-rate mortgage” was born, balloon payments and all. People got themselves up to their eyeballs in debt and were just fine for the first five or ten years and then BAM! Their interest rate hikes up to 24% (I’m not kidding, a friend of mine had that exact figure when that whole “variable-rate-thing” kicked in) and the bank’s at the front door with a notice of foreclosure like it’s a big fucking surprise that no one can afford their mortgages.

So while the housing market has crashed (good for people like me and my guy who just bought, bad for people who were getting ready to sell and suddenly owed more than the damn house was worth), tuition rates climb. You ask: “what the hell does this have to do with college??”

I’ll tell you!

The government also decided that every citizen has the right to a higher education – and I couldn’t agree more! Same as houses! You totally have the right to these things, but there needs to be some incentive to earn them, like working hard, and getting good grades, blah blah blah.

So the government goes and says “we’re going to subsidize a fuck-ton of college loans instead of home loans, because it’s totally different and we’re stupid and slow learners.” This was right about the time the parents of GenX and GenY started in with the “if you don’t go to college, you’re worthless, you’ll never get a good job, or a house, or a spouse, or happiness, and you’ll die alone in a ditch after a long life of working at McDonald’s.”

Whoa. Scary. Like, super-intense. But that’s what society was telling us. Kinda like this.

So what happens? The government says “everyone can go to college!” our parents say “you have to go to college!” So everyone gets government subsidized student loans and frolics off to college to not ruin their lives.

College debt now exceeds credit card debt in the United States.

Not that that’s a bad thing, really. If you think about it, wouldn’t it be better to spend money on an investment in your future rather than LCD TV’s and the like? Just sayin…

But now college is expensive, and we have an entirely new generation that still thinks they have to go to college.

So who’s going to work on cars? Own small businesses? Drive trucks? The majority of those people don’t go to college, they go to trade school.

Oh, right, trade school was absorbed by the Community College system, that’s right!

Why are people with Master’s degrees suddenly without jobs now?

BECAUSE EVERYONE HAS A FREAKING MASTER’S DEGREE!

Thanks parents of yore! You have officially fucked up the entire job market, because you all think that your kids are “special” and need a higher education. Guess what? Your kid’s not fucking special, chances are s/he’s a fucking loser that flunked out of college anyways, but still has the debt to prove that s/he went.

Not everyone in the country can go to college, people! Does it ever piss you off that all our stuff is made in different countries and that illegal immigrants are finding work here? Well, if everyone goes to college, who’s going to work construction? Carpentry, welding, waitressing, none of those jobs requires a degree, so why get one if you’re not gonna work it, and why work it if you have a degree that pays more doing something better?

Ah, pays more. That’s the key, isn’t it? Everyone wants to go to college so that they can make millions of dollars and be upper-middle class and have an awesome life.

The entire country can’t be middle class, I’m really sorry to burst your bubble.

The rising cost of tuition is going to help us in the long-run. The kids that aren’t sure if they want to college, or perhaps don’t have the grades to get scholarships to lessen tuition aren’t going to go, they’re going to enter the workforce, and do all those jobs that need to be done. There’s nothing wrong with being working class, and there’s nothing wrong with being middle class, but there’s something wrong with people who are pretty much just made to be working class forcing themselves down a middle class track. Have you ever seen “My Big Fat Redneck Vacation”? It’s not pretty.

If you’re at the point where you have to decide whether or not to go to college, figure out if college is really right for you. Is white-collar work right for you? Are you okay with being a pencil-pusher, or would you rather work with your hands? Don’t force yourself to be something you’re not, that’ll just make you miserable. No amount of money in the world is going to buy you happiness. You’re going to be working 40+ hours a week, don’t you want to spend that time doing something that you like? or at least that you don’t hate?

We need to get back to trade school jobs, otherwise our economy is never going to recover, we need those people to fix our cars and drive our busses and put up power lines, and don’t ever forget it. Don’t ever judge someone by the job that they have or the money they make, everyone has their place in society (except for Welfare and unemployment fucks that milk the system, those people can burn and die).

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